Google's being a pain in the Glass

Google Glass promo shot
She won't be smiling when the credit card bill arrives

Imagine for a moment that the iWatch is real. Rather than Apple's usual "we made a thing and you can buy it on this date, for this much" approach, Tim Cook has a better idea.

"Let's recruit some iWatch Explorers," he drawls. "They can do all our marketing for us, for free, and we'll pick a couple of winners."

"Do the winners get iWatches?" Jonathan Ive asks.

"Haha! No!" Cook hoots. "They get to buy one! For $1,500! Plus tax!

"Are people that dumb?" Ive responds.

"Yes! And we won't even ship it! We'll make them fly to New York, San Francisco or LA to pick it up!"

"That'll cost a fortune," Ive points out. "Especially for people outside America."

"People outside America? Screw those guys!"

"Haha!" laughs Ive.

"Hoho!" chortles Cook.

Imagine the reaction. The tech press would go crazy, and everyone would agree that this time, Apple really is doomed.

Swap iWatch for Google Glass.

Google's getting away with it.

Glass half empty

I'll admit, I'm not the target market for Google Glass. That's partly because I'm not the kind of idiot who spends a grand and a half on a product I haven't actually used, and partly because I'm from a different demographic.

Google's promo video includes hot air ballooning, snowboarding, ballet dancing, horse riding, aeroplane flying, ice sculpture, skydiving, gymnastics and snake charming. I do literally none of those things, and as someone who hates getting their photo taken I'm not exactly keen on people with glorified GoPros strapped to their heads recording me when I talk to them.

That isn't my problem with Glass, though. I think wearable tech is exciting tech, but I think the idea of Glass Explorers really sucks. It's the pre-emptive Facebook Like taken to its logical conclusion.

"Click Like and tell everybody you know about us to enter our competition!" is bad enough, but Google's going for the "do loads of promo for us to get the chance to give us all your money".

This is Google trying to control the narrative about Glass. By making applicants prove their worth and pay their own money Google's ensuring that the only people getting Glass are people who won't want to turn around and say "you know what? I spent $1,500 on this, and it's crap. I'm an idiot. Sorry, world." There's a name for that bias: post-purchase rationalisation.

I hope Glass is great, but I don't like this. It's very clever, but it's cynical too: it's turning prospective customers into actual marketers.

The hashtag is #ifihadglass. Maybe it should be #ifihaddignity.

TOPICS
Carrie Marshall
Contributor

Writer, broadcaster, musician and kitchen gadget obsessive Carrie Marshall has been writing about tech since 1998, contributing sage advice and odd opinions to all kinds of magazines and websites as well as writing more than a dozen books. Her memoir, Carrie Kills A Man, is on sale now and her next book, about pop music, is out in 2025. She is the singer in Glaswegian rock band Unquiet Mind.

Latest in Tech
Josie and Matt laughing in front of the Google Pixel 9a
TechRadar Podcast: Is the Pixel 9a ugly? Has Apple ruined the smartwatch market? And is Samsung's One UI in trouble?
A Lego Pikachu tail next to a Pebble OS watch and a screenshot of Assassin's Creed Shadow
ICYMI: the week's 7 biggest tech stories from LG's excellent new OLED TV to our Assassin's Creed Shadow review
A triptych image of the Meridian Ellipse, LG C5 and Xiaomi 15.
5 amazing tech reviews of the week: LG's latest OLED TV is the best you can buy and Xiaomi's seriously powerful new phone
Beats Studio Pro Wireless Noise Cancelling Headphones in Black and Gold on yellow background with big savings text
The best Beats headphones you can buy drop to $169.99 at Best Buy's Tech Fest sale
Ray-Ban smart glasses with the Cpperni logo, an LED array, and a MacBook Air with M4 next to ecah other.
ICYMI: the week's 7 biggest tech stories from Twitter's massive outage to iRobot's impressive new Roombas
A triptych image featuring the Sennheiser HD 505, Apple iPad Air 11-inch (2025), and Apple MacBook Air 15-inch (M4).
5 unmissable tech reviews of the week: why the MacBook Air (M4) should be your next laptop and the best sounding OLED TV ever
Latest in News
Garmin clippd integration
Garmin's golf watches just got a big software integration upgrade to help you improve your game
Robert Downey Jr reveals himself as Doctor Doom to a delighted crowd at San Diego Comic-Con 2024
Marvel is currently making a major announcement about Avengers: Doomsday's cast on YouTube, and I think it's going to be a long-winded reveal
Samsung QN90F on yellow background
Samsung announces US prices for its 2025 mini-LED TV lineup, and it’s good and bad news
Nintendo Switch Lite
Forget the Nintendo Switch 2, the original Switch is getting one last hurrah in a surprise Nintendo Direct tomorrow
The Samsung Galaxy S25 Edge on display the January 22, 2025 Galaxy Unpacked event.
Samsung Galaxy S25 Edge colors seemingly revealed in new video, and there’s another sign of an imminent launch
Microsoft Copiot Studio deep reasoning and agent flows
Microsoft reveals OpenAI-powered Copilot AI agents to bosot your work research and data analysis