2. Funny Hand Dryer
Platform: Android
Price: Free
This week's app is called Funny Hand Dryer but there is literally NOTHING funny about it. In any way at all. It's just a pretend, crappy, low-res picture of a hand dryer that makes a noise. If you've ever laughed at this, you're a moron.
To get the "funny" started, you touch beneath the vent as if you were sticking your hands out to dry, and the familiar blowing sound starts blurting out of your phone or tablet speakers. We have literally just described the function of Funny Hand Dryer as exhaustively as possible.
Now, perhaps we're missing the big joke that the rest of you are all in on, but as far as we can tell hand dryers have never quite been a source of 'banter'. Never have we heard a good joke involving a hand dryer and we highly doubt the "funny" is going to start with this app.
But who are we to argue with ten thousand downloads? And the app's creator is obviously keen to maintain the quality their fans have come to expect. The 1.1 update makes sure the app is now installed to any inserted SD card, so you can rest assured that you're never too far from a good bathroom facility-based joke. Just imagine the look on your friends' faces when you whip this one out. You don't deserve friends.
We'd say that iOS users are lucky to have dodged this bullet but the app Electric Razor is almost as harrowingly crap, though we guess you could at least rub the phone all over your face to help imitate the act of shaving. The 21st century is great, isn't it?
Needless to say, the reviews for Funny Hand Dryer are less than complimentary, although one person wrote: "It's alright not the best game in the app store,"
Not the best... but not the worst apparently. You mean you've played worse games than this, anonymous Google user? That may also be the most liberal use of the word "game" we've ever heard.
Luke Stanbridge gives the most in-depth analysis of the bunch, however: "Too basic, you can't change any settings of this app, when you take your hand off the screen the sound effect just cuts out unrealistically."
Yeah, because up until that point it had us utterly hornswoggled.
