The Amstrad Em@iler was a pain to use, not very reliable cost a fortune to run - chiefly because buyers were charged 20p every time it connected to Amstrad to find out if there were any emails. It even served up advertising on its display, adding yet more insult to injury.
Sir Alan Sugar was apparently so convinced that the Amstrad Em@iler would be a success he apparently lost millions trying to make it one - despite all evidence to contrary.
Amstrad CEO Bob Watkins even resigned over it, allegedly.
HEAVEN: Panasonic DMR-EX88 HDD DVD recorder
Hard disk toting DVD recorders are unsung heroes of the great gallop towards convergent devices, managing to do some pretty complicated things in a very sensible and mostly user-friendly way.
The Panasonic DMR-EX88 is a case in point. It manages to combine a 400GB hard disk drive with a CD player, DVD player and DVD recorder, throws in a digital TV tuner with Freeview Playback; and then adds a USB port and SD memory card slot. Phew.
You can also use the DMR-EX88's huge hard drive to store your digital music library, thanks to its Music Jukebox function and a built-in version of the Gracenote CD database.
We particularly like the fact it also include a 1080p video upscaler, enabling your movies to look nearly as good on a large flat panel TV as proper Blu-ray versions.
Available for as little as £349 online, the Panasonic DMR-EX88 is also a better all-round solution to your AV needs than any entertainment PC you can name, despite sharing many of the same capabilities. It's certainly easy to use and looks great under your TV too.
HELL: Victorinox S.Beat MP3 digital audio player
Many people would consider MP3s to be offensive enough, without having weapons attached, but even the peace-loving Swiss are having a go.
The S.Beat MP3 digital audio player from Victorinox combines 2GB of pocket tuneage with a Swiss Army knife enabling you to listen to the radio or even Ogg Vorbis files while getting stones out of horse's hooves, clipping your toenails or sticking pigs.
Reassuringly Victorinox also sells a version (the S.Beat MP3 Flight) that enables you to remove the MP3 player. This has the benefit of still enabling you to enjoy your music, without being zapped by iTaser-toting WPCs - the knife bit can safely be stowed in your suitcase or simply left at home.
HEAVEN: RIM Blackberry Bold 9000
If you're the kind of person who'd be just too embarrassed to flash an iPhone around in public, the Blackberry Bold is sure to appeal to your outer geek. Why?
Because the Blackberry Bold looks just as credible when it comes to convergence. It packs in full web browsing, super-fast 3G data speeds, GPS satellite navigation, and can playback your movies and iTunes music too.
But the Blackberry Bold also has something the iPhone does not - a credible backstory when it comes to keeping you up to date with the work world - thanks to that hardcore emailers dream - a physical QWERTY keyboard.
HELL: LG GRG227STBA TV fridge
A great example of bad convergence tech, the LG GRG227STBA TV fridge takes two previously separate technologies and lumps them together in a way that even now seems rather baffling.
The reasoning behind it seems understandable. Why?
The kitchen is the busiest and most frequently used part of any home; and the fridge is the most popular item in it;
You'll be able to use the TV fridge to watch cookery programs on its 15-inch display.
It maximises space in your living quarters - making ideal in countries like Korea and Japan, where homes tend to be small.
It's strange then that the TV fridge also leaves out two other options that would actually be rather handy:
A built-in internet connection you can download recipes - you have to hook the TV fridge up to an off-board PC instead;
A personal video recorder (PVR) with chasing playback so you can record your favourite cooking programmes, and watch the really important bits over and over again.
AND FINALLY...
No exploration into the highs and lows of consumer tech would be complete without name-checking Brando - a Hong Kong company that specialises in weird USB peripherals.
Highlight on its website include a USB Skype Mouse, which adds a internet phone to the humble PC mouse, and the Casio USB Mouse Label Printer, which throws in a printer.
Our favourite has to be Brando's USB Slippers, which use the Intel-invented connection to keep your feet warm in the office. Marvellous, or awful, depending on your point of view.
Which convergence gadget would you praise to the hills, and which would you take out the back to be shot? Let us know, write in the comments below!
