5 completely pointless uses of CGI
CGI should look seamless. Here's when it's badly wrong
Fed up with the amount of abysmal CGI effects abounding in our movies, games and on TV, our colleagues over at 3D World have put together a list of the very worst.
So we've nabbed some of the list and brought it to you here for your amusement. But before we go any further - no, the awful ice-sea-surfing bit from Die Another Day isn't here. Truly the worst Bond moment ever perhaps, but it falls into insignificance up against this tomfoolery. Any other nasty CGI suggestions? Add them in the comments.
1. Star Wars trilogy Special Editions
Woody Allen has said he never rewatches his films once they're finished. If only George Lucas could take the hint… Lucas' pillage of his once-treasured heritage saw the addition of incongruous, unnecessary and (infamously) plot-changing CG, to the betterment of nothing much and the baffled rage of countless fanboys. And that was only the beginning
2. The monster-things in I Am Legend
"No Will, don't go in the scary building where the scary monster-things live! We're too scared! The entire film has been building up to this point and we're not sure we can bear seeing them… aaargh, there they are and – Hang on. That's IT? THAT'S what you were so worried about? Some pasty blokes who look a bit wobbly?" Sometimes a man in a monster suit is all it takes, Francis Lawrence.
3. Most of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
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According to Wikipedia, "Steven Spielberg stated before production began that very few CGI effects would be used, to maintain consistency with the other films," which just goes to show you can't always trust Wikipedia. Or Spielberg. As if the ridiculous plot and fight scenes weren't enough, the addition of irritating CG monkeys, an entire warehouse, and those useless ants tipped Indy 4 into the "Sod it, we'll do it in post-prod" category of laziness.
4. The World of Warcraft intro movie
World of Warcraft! Brilliant! You can be a Night Elf and everything! Ooh I'm so excited, the game's loading and there's this fantastic, epically sweeping CG movie with stirring fighting scenes and tons of atmosphere and incredible fur effects and the game starts and… now I appear I to be in the equivalent of a 3D chatroom from 1997. What relevance, exactly, did all that guff have to do with this cartoony ROFL-fest? I want my money back. lol N00B
5. Election night TV specials
We're not sure how it works outside the UK, but over here the graphical stops are really pulled out for those 12-hour election specials in which presenters desperately attempt to make the process of numbers slowly rising appear to be interesting. These generally devolve into some bizarre virtual reality/disaster movie hybrid, incorporating ever more tenuous visual metaphors and references until finally the results from Wirral South somehow result in the destruction of downtown Manhattan.