Good news, any lady readers who may have strayed here by mistake while looking for celebrity gossip!
The average weight of the average lady's average handbag has apparently plummeted by 57 per cent over the last few years, thanks to husbands and boyfriends upgrading their partner's mobile phone to something slimmer and lighter - and the general shrinking of other modern gadgets along with the fact that your new MP3 player is probably also your new phone and new camera.
LEAVE IT AT HOME, LOVE: And take out that bar of Dairy Milk you've had hidden in there all week
This has actually led serious news sources (and the Daily Mail) to suggest this could usher in a new era in which smaller handbags become fashionable, seeing as girls no longer need to lug around bulky Nokias and separate MP3 players and, in a very small number of isolated cases, have replaced their Alienware M17x gaming laptops with smaller netbooks.
***BREAKING CELEBRITY NEWS*** ***BREAKING CELEBRITY NEWS*** ***BREAKING CELEBRITY NEWS***
The occasionally amusing-when-in-the-right-context Iain Lee has sensationally quit Twitter in a NSFW four-letter tirade against people who didn't like his new BBC sitcom The Persuasionists, claiming to have "deleted Twitterific" from his phone in outrage as the online abuse he received following Wednesday night's screening of the first episode.
A brief search of Twitter reveals that as many as about 15 people may have said The Persuasionists wasn't particularly funny, leading us to suggest that Iain is being a bit over-sensitive about the whole thing.
COME BACK IAIN: Stephen Fry is being rushed to the scene to administer emergency cuddles
If you don't want to be abused on the internet, don't go on the internet, that's our advice for literally everyone. We will not have any more on this news as it breaks.
Nexus £1000
It's always interesting to see the vultures emerge from the woodwork (METAPHOR ALERT) following the launch of any new tech product, and Google's astonishingly well hyped Nexus One has attracted its fair share of eBay profiteering. You may, for example, buy the domain name www.GoogleNexus-1.com or its more underground alternative www.UnlockedNexus1.com for a more reasonable $700.
SQUATTER'S NOT RIGHT: OK, yes, we're very jealous we didn't register them first
Or, if you're on the Apple side of the fence, why not prepare for this month's alleged impending tablet launch by buying up www.apple-4g.com and getting www.Apple-MySlate.com thrown in for free - yours via some morality-free eBay chancer for an astonishing $15,000.
Electrify-Wi-Fi
As you may have gathered from seeing the 10,000 new types of mobile phone and some slightly thinner-looking TVs on the TechRadar front page, it was the Consumer Electronics Show this week - and one of the most unusual gadgets spotted on the plastic dump of a show floor was the Airnergy Charger. The clue to what it does is in the utilitarian name.
Spotted by tech blog Oh Gizmo, the Airnergy Charger apparently takes the "free energy" available through Wi-Fi signals and converts it into DC power, charging an internal battery for you to plug your little toys into.
The Airnergy Charger, therefore, claims to literally pull energy out of the sky whenever you're in range of a Wi-Fi signal.
If it's true, and works, and isn't an outrageous lie, we could end up being able to charge our gadgets by propping them up next to our routers. And a router could even charge itself. Surely there's got to be some very wrong physics involved in this?